Let's go back to Geometry.

"Everything will be Okay"

Worrying = No Plans
Worry-free = Plans
Plans = Expectations
Expectations = Not good
No expectations = Worry-free

= Plan with no expectations and you will be worry-free.

Feeling down?

No, the grass is not greener on the other side. The grass is fuckin browner on the other side! Be thankful you're on the lawn, cuz shit, there might be CEMENT just around the corner. You never know what others are going through until you ask. It's not the easiest thing to do, but be mindful - as much as possible.

Love

30's 30's...

I don't even know where to start with this one. I guess I was lookin at my old blogs and somewhere in the years, I said I felt like I stopped learning.


wtf.




WHAT WAS I THINKING!




lol it's nice to look back! how stupid!






Thanks to the new age of everyone being on their phones, we always learning something new everyday! Just because I'm "damn near 30", I've got a whole new SET of problems that I gotta learn from. Never ready, always forgetting... sure those are common Cheryl things... but who ever said they were ready for the problems of the day?! dafuq


Firsta all, I'm not even a mom yet. That comes with mom-problems. Before that, heck, I aint even MARRIED yet! Life has it's stages and being almost 30 has this weird.. um.. how do I call it... "I already knew that, but I didn't know THIS would happen!" sort of feeling. The next chapter of life is like, you've upgraded to the Touring model but didn't realize your new LCD interface would have issues. haha idk. With so much going on in my head, my brain no longer has tunnel vision. It's all over the place lol.


SO that's why I got a passion planner!


This isn't sponsored, I swear. But honestly I love to write out my thoughts and feelings to take a weight off my shoulders. I call it "Dumping". not poo. Dumping information, silly. The moment you let it go - you're free! This doesn't just go with an overload of information, this also pertains to those moments when you're stressed-the-fuck-out and don't know what to do with the situation(s) at hand. Believe!! Trust in Him and the truth will set you free! Makes total sense now!


Just. Let. Go. Why stress?

Things I Hate to Love

• Coachella
• Birth Control

(I'll add to this as time goes by)

Will you be my.. whatever

So I have this friend that says she's ready to be in a relationship. Technically, she's been in a relationship for several months now, just without the title. I love these sort of things, so I thought I could ask the guy how he's gonna execute asking her to be his girlfriend.

(I'm friends with both of them)

Meanwhile, the girl tells me that it's not a big deal to her. They have a mutual understanding about their relationship, and now have an official start of their relationship. What's the point of asking?

Well YA - what's the point of asking or having an official start date then?

Idk. I'm kinda irked at this. I stand a firm believer that every girl, deep inside, likes the corny shit. No matter how much they deny it. Once it happens, they're the happiest little giddy two-shoes. 

Maybe, it's not a big deal because it hasn't happened to her yet.

I love it. I'm a sucker for these type of shits. If you love corny shit too, watch the Jenn Im proposal. Anyway, I'll update you once I find out how they became official. muahahaha


P.S. I'm thinking about adding some of my interest in KBeauty here.. whatcha think? Doesn't matter. I'm gonna do it lol.

A little lower, please.

Soooo, it's been about a year since the last post and there has been a LOT of major changes in my life that kinda happened all at once. HEH..

Quickest updates: stayed in daly city to finish my degree (#collegelife), finished my degree =), coincidentally broke up with my boyfriend at the time, financial aid ended, which forced me to move back home, in which the property tax was getting ridiculously higher that it forced the whole family to move to BORINGASSbrentwood (BAB). so yes. i moved twice. in less than a month. In 5 days, actually. U-Haul ftw

I also just found out a few hours ago that our new neighbors graduated in '04... which means... they bought a brand new house, have kids, and they are only 2 years older than me! WOW...

Meanwhile, at mom's..

I came across this video during my nighttime routine of clicking through youtube channels that I've subscribed to: 

lol yes! It's Jenna Marbles. She is hilarious. She makes me laugh, cuz yea, everybody needs a good laugh every so often..! But not this time. This video, is as real as shit gets. Specifically speaking, around 7:45-end is when she touched a soft spot of mine. no, not in that way. ew you!

It has officially been 2 months since school ended and I couldn't have felt more relieved. School has been haunting me since 2006, with all those gosh darn expectations that I can't help but have for my future. Of course, coming from that asian household, my mom and dad and other family members also had expectations for me. 

I wanted the same expectation for myself because well shit, no high school grad really knows exactly who they want to be when they pursue college. Already half way into a biology major, I felt screwed. (ew you!) So I fucking pushed through. I thought, if they can do it, I can too! 

WRONG!!!! 

I just HAD to find out the hard way. I guess that's how life hits ya, amirite?! lol. So, my grades reflected that. -____-

now that it's finally over.. All bio majors should know that you can't just stop at a bachelor's. You gotta keep going... might as well be a doctor! ahem, excuse me, do you KNOW what it TAKES to be a doctor??!?!

*reality sinks in* Everyone has their own specific talents/skills; you can't force yourself to do something you're just simply not good at. AND! WHO SAYS you gotta do these things before you're 30? I mean where do you even fit in marriage, kids, buying a house..  like my neighbors who are only 2 years older than me. wtf?!

[see! comparing again. gotta stop that. and my AGE! what about my fucking age?!]

At first I thought, Nobody tells me these things!!! Blaming the world as if I expected life to talk to me. Although it is still true that nobody tells you about these things, I can't get so fucking bummed about not fulfilling these gosh darn expectations I had for myself. I went through a few college spasms of WTF AM I GONNA DO I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, buckets of tears, puffy eyes, completely Emo to the 148502945049^929485024th degree all because of something expected of me couldn't be achieved. I was SO narrow minded that it blinded my sight to other talents I could've unlocked. 

CLEARLY there was a flaw somewhere in the years, and it dragged on to age of 27 but nevertheless I got through it and managed to accomplish SOMEthing. my degree.

I really don't know how my boyfriend at the time dealt with me. Actually, I'm sure ALL my exes know this about me... School is a sensitive subject. I cry. I'm a big baby when it comes to school. 

Biology is actually a very broad field. Saying you want to become a Doctor, is also a very broad thing to say. There are so many other angles to this situation that I really need to stop being so darn stressed!

The next part of life really scared me. It scared me during the end of financial aid.. the end of my college life in daly city.. the end... of my life in union city =( !! (keep in mind, I've stayed in UC since I was 9 years old = middle school, high school, and some college!) [see picture above, #1-7]. I really didn't know how to handle all the changes so I topped it off with the end of me and my bf. I didn't want to let out my feelings of being lost/my frustration/my stress on him, so I actually kinda did him a favor! I was most definitely being selfish, because I think this is the time to BE selfish.

I'm on the hunt for a job. Brentwood is a very slowly-developing city that it honestly has nothing for bio-grads. At this point, forget what's expected of you. Forget your own high expectations for yourself. They're too fucking high to be depressed about. Thank you Jenna Marbles for telling me it's OKAY. Do whatever interests you and what makes you happy because next thing you know, you're just a bitter old ex-gf who's 27 and angry! I'm already crying as I'm typing this lol cuz the truth hurts. Do what interests you so that you're open to a variety of things! Being narrow-minded can limit your true ability to shine. It's almost like I've been one-sided my whole college life. and JUST NOW, I know I'm gonna be okay. Taking it day by day, in this moment, still applying to places and fixing my resume.. accepting that I gotta start from the bottom. but this time, just HAPPIER! SO relieving! Who the fuck cares!

As long as I care enough for myself, then I can do the best I can for myself and myself only. "I just wanna thank God..." for opening my eyes. God is definitely important in all things. So I also thank God for keeping me, well, ALIVE through all the down moments. And for his love. And for the food on my plate. And for the roof over my head. (The list goes on). I'm gonna be okay. If someone was asking where to put the frame of my expectations on the wall, I would tell them, A LITTLE LOWER, please. Perfect. 

/endrant. 

daly city

so that last post failed.

it's all temporary.

almost there.

is there such thing as an anti-sensitive pill? something that stops you from being so sensitive to everything that happens to you? or like something that lets me brush off all the negativity

hope.

weed.

man-the-fuck-up pill. lol

i'm honestly sick of this shit.

nobody will ever be nice to you. nobody really cares. whatever it is that you want is self-achieved, accomplished by effort. man-made with a little help from something you can't see. like love or hope or soooomething of the sort.

"Doin you" is not exactly easy. But i mean, having some company while you're getting there would be nice. not just anybody, somebody with quality. worth. I'm tired of having my guards up high the instant something pokes at me. I'll snap back like a chihuahua.

ya, maybe weed.

ohayou-gozaimasu

Hi!

To whoever might stumble upon this old blog, I am finally attempting to reboot my blogging rants, raves, and discoveries again for the newest chapter of my life ..



Life of a 25 yr old.




(Well, MY life as a 25 year old.)


Thing is, I stopped blogging because when I was about to write another blog, I realized that I've written it before. (??!!) Yep, that's right. I wasn't learning anything new. I had, in fact, stopped learning.

=(
=x!
=I...

That might be a little hard to consume right now, but perhaps what I'm about to blog about in the near future might turn on a different lightbulb in your brain. THIS AINT NO HIGHSCHOOL CRAP ANYMORE.

..nor is this 21 life either!

Shit happens! Life is Real. A lot can happen in a day, a year, 2, and in the next 5. Speaking of the next 5, I'm gonna be 30. Holy guacamole!

As I was saying, I've been a little busy. Lazy. Frustrated. and Happier than I have ever been in previous years. I just.. haven't had the motivation to get up, open this blog, and type away. I mean yeah, for one, it's an old blog. Nobody's probably gonna read this. But I can atleast do it for myself in times of distress. My prince charming! Or I can even use this as a guideline.. for my future years to come. Re-blogging is a good thing! Cuz honestly, have I ever been 25 before? Um.. no. First time for everything! heh

With that being said, there has been a few things in the past couple years that I did not expect what-so-ever. Who woulda thought, good people with good-natured actions could hurt so cold?! Or that your point of view was believed to be 100% common-sense-ly correct to you, and yet 100% out of the ballpark INcorrect to others that you get penalized for it!! Or that no matter how hard you try, not everyone will like you. OH and here's another one that I've learned recently that frustrates me all the time; treating others the way you want to be treated. Good intentions, painful results! Those are just to name a few.. which will be saved for individual blog topics soon.

As for the quickest update - real friends would message me. For the readers, I am basically doing backward things in a new light. UMM how should I say this.., it might look like I'm going backwards, but I have a new mindset on things. Old things with a new twist. Like eating cereal as a kid (yum), but this time around I'm eating the grown up cereal! (breakfast is healthy!) Haha.. Okay, a more realistic example would be living at home in hs vs. living at home to save money for a future. That sounds more like it.

=)


feels great to be back. see you guys later, and thank you all for listening!!

pictureblog! anti-tumblr

know you're tired of the usual ;)

@Hecho

haha <3

@ the KID CUDI!!! concert

random bbq, with all 5 of us

(my most recent pic, with new haircut!)

being a robot in mountain view

rachel's a 1/2 inch taller now. ;( and, she passed middle school!

@bay2breakers

i swear skydiving is coming up next. soon. stay tuned!

can't wait!!!

we do this thing where we put all our thoughts and concerns to Him.. taking it off our shoulders and letting Him take care of the situation, as he takes care of us. but, like all relationships, it takes 2 to tango. so before anything, we do what we can - as He continues to carry on His plan he has for us. each and every one of us have unique, tailored plans.. just as we are all unique in His eyes. He loves us all, and he will continue doing what he's been doing, that is, guiding us to our success through Him.

so,

i pray that this works out in god's favor.

amen.

for those of you who dont know exactly what Amen means, it's a derivative of the Hebrew word aman which is "to strengthen" or "confirm".. aka "so be it".

When we have weak core muscles, it's much harder to maintain good posture.

fuck it! slouch, eat a big mac, sit all day

of lower rank

happy 1yr & 3mo... ah fuck it who am i kidding.

not myself lately. turtle mode.

kawawa. downtime.

you really, really, really, really, REALLY, suck.


i can't expect anything from you, but it kinda comes with my title. with past experience, ive learned how to be and how not to be and i feel like THIS cheryl, the cheryl NOW, is the finished product.. like 10 + 10 = 20 times better! add it all together and you've got a super sized meal!

as if i've surpassed the boss level in a video game!

a fuckin good-ass-deal!

having said that, i feel that i am better than ever =)

but..

it's not appreciated.

WHY does it feel like i have no value?! not exactly pushed aside, i just.. feel like.. i'm not.. getting what people at my level should have in return. appreciation. worth. uniqueness.

let's recap; i can't expect anything from you, but it kinda comes with my title. save me from worthless tears and just denote me down a notch. i don't know how much longer i can stay like this.

dear diary

had an AWESOME weekend! first time @ bay2breakers AND a strip club, AND walked from market to the pier for what seemed like decades. i guess i had it reversed, i had a shot of vodka first thing in the morning, THEN i ate a breakfast burrito. lol. it was soooo cool! i wish i had a new camera so i could show you pictures but fortunately i'm saving my money for vegas with 4 semi-new girl friends. anywho, bay2breakers! my first time! lots of halloweenish costumes.. less slutty.. more weird, dorky, themed, and people bouncing in the nude. a littttttle disturbing! heh! my favorite was the group that planned for the rain.. all the girls dressed up as shower mesh sponges and the one and only guy dressed up as a shower! curtain included! hahaha HOWEVER it didn't rain at all! it was surprisingly veryyyy sunny. still cold tho, it's sf after all. we walked from bart to catch up with the crowd, got lost within the crowd, separated from our original group, weaved through the crowd, found some friends and drank some more (btw vince brought his camelback and filled that up with some vodka). hahaha... then we found circle of people surrounding wrestling match between not-so-similar weight classes. haha... sad to say one of the filipinos horribly lost.. i think he was just half drunk and flubby. saw some more old naked people.. tits.. junk.. then after the crowd dispersed a little more, we found 2 members from our original group and decided to walk around with them to look for a bar. COULDNT FIND a worthy bar, so we walked and walked and walked from bay2breakers to the strip club... there were only 2 black girls who were swapping the stage. one of them could climb the pole with her body, the other couldn't. phino handed me a wad of dollar bills and sat me down smack dab in the front of all the action =x! and yes; i tapped that ass. ;) my facial expression was like this the whole time: o_o . . . i didn't know how to react! awkward and it didn't turn me on at all? im not even sure if i'm supposed to be turned on?! that was my first time as well. haha. then from the strip club to the pier! from being denied of 50% off at bubbas to being approved of 50% off at rainforest cafe. UGHHHH you could imagine all the walking we did? i desperately had to call-in the next day. couldn't move my legs or keep them standing! then we randomly met up with the rest of our group and fell asleep on our bart ride back home. i love being buzzed all day. :D

ok now im sad again. this isnt going anywhereee... comfortable - lil wayne.

MAN you suck.

DAY 1 - The Return of Cheryl

day 1 is definitely not how i thought it would be. i took a step back from the box* to analyze what i was doing, and what situation i was in.. and after thinking on it, i realized that i was brainwashed into following a pre-destined path my mother had set up for me. she advertised it well, weighing out the pro's and con's.. as well as throwing in a few promotions of her own, such as a free room and free food. but we ALL KNOW that nothing in life is free! so of course i had to read the fine print: "the promoted free room is next door to a 13 year old girl who is still not mature. across the hallway is a room with traditional-style grandparents who will scold you for anything that is seen non-traditional. across the other hallway is your mother who will always nag you no matter what until you get your shit together"

it's like i'm back at square one. but i refuse to consider this as "square one"

atleast this time around, i actually have something accomplished. so, technically, this would be square Two! haha

babysteps, i guess.

aha! that's exactly it - babysteps! i need to stop mentally punishing myself for not being where i wish i was.. and instead i should just appreciate where i AM, and what i've DONE to get myself in the place i'm currently in. maybe we should all take a

*moment of appreciation*

that is all for day 1. appreciate today, rest, go on with externships, and proceed to square three when ready. got it!

=)

*macbook reboot sound*

i guess i should update you guys with what's really going on right now, because the previous post is so last month!

ha!

after countless nights of contemplating til 2am, i've come to conclude that my personality has reached a pleateau. that would explain why i felt down-in-the-dumps at any given event, and why i honestly had nothing cool or important to talk about anymore. I was irritable.. bland... and lifeless, if you may.

=\

where has all of cheryl gone? what happened to those times where people would say, "cheryl would do that" or "that's so cheryl!" haha. i needed to put the cheryl back in cherylness.blogspot.com. and of course, i was/am destined to restore what was once mine!

so i'm coming back. with a new twist.. i'm 23 now, not 19, not 20, not 21, not 22.. but yes, 23. although i may not know what to do, i know now what NOT to do. (i'll let you re-read that)

ahh, the feeling of something fresh & new. i'm all for it! and i hope you'll stick around to continue reading my blogs.. cuz there will definitely be more updates in the (very) near future.

so far, here are my current updates:

-graduated from my pharmtech program

-starting pharmtech externships perhaps as soon as tomorrow

-moving back to moms

-not stopping there! continuing with school and aiming for that degree!

-VEGAS finally with all girls! (yes, i'm 2 years late. this is my first time going with friends and not family)

-SKYDIVING IS A MUST. since i couldn't do it last year

-ziplining next month. woot!

-no more Chase!

&more later..

;D

<3c.

"silence is a girl's loudest cry. you can tell she's really hurt when she starts ignoring you"

3.20.11

i tend to wander off to blogland before an important exam.. i guess i gotta let out some thoughts that take part in my overpopulated brain. =)

3.12.11

had an awesome surprise bday!

thanks baby. ;) apparently i drank so much that i left everyone and wandered off on my own for an hour. lol.. that's bruno fitzmars standing next to me haha

and thank again babe, for eliminating the stacks of cds in my car! =D

3.18.11

and thanks kuya fred & jon for the last minute, random invitation to Jo Koy! he was the perfect comedian for my first comedy show =D

AND PASSION WAS THERE TOO! he sang my favorite song: musiq soulchild - just friends =D! i melted in my seat when i heard it! (no cameras allowed during the show, sorry!) oh but i'll share with you my favorite song of his, it's an original! meaning from the heart =) >

ps, happy 1 year & 1 month

thanks for your time!

back to the exit exam -______-

update version 3.7.11

if you do the math,

living (somewhat) on your own + a raise in your paycheck $$$ + awesome boyfriend + being around good people + graduating this month - minor day-to-day complaints = overall, life is swell.

as most of you know, dad has left the building (home) for about 2+ months now. he probably migrated down south of california, where employment rates appear to be rising. he's honestly never told me. none, zip, nada. don't think he ever will. but he's safe, and he's making his own money, and he calls to check on me everyday. i'm happy for him. =)

as for my other boyfriend..

just celebrated our 1 year!

spotted banksy! some dumbos edited it tho. -_-

fauncy dinner for two!

(i look weird in that picture)

then dinner day 2 !

NOMical.

and i'm happy to announce the return of Cassandra! wooooooo! she hasn't come out to play yet, but we're finally able to talk to each other on the phone again. it's a start. =) i miss her and i'll always be here for her. (left)

i... went to a big sean concert ? hah.. some guy who likes to say "boiii" a lot.

"finally famous over everythaaang"

if there were such thing as second-hand smoking from weed, i probably caught it at the concert. HELLAsmoke.

pardon my old 6mp camera. -_- i wanna new one! scratch that.. *need

new favorite bar - Single Barrel! usually when i find a good thing, i like to share.. but in this case, i'd prefer to keep this gem exclusive. from the customer service, to the decor, to the ambience, and especially to their rare drinks catered to your liking... i rate this place 100 stars and beyond. i would tell you guys what it's like inside, but i think it would ruin my credibility. you HAVE to go there in person to get the full experience. yes; it's not just a bar, it's an EXPERIENCE. their name is all i'll give.. once you find it, you wont be disappointed! promise.

my program finishes this month and im super excited! THIS MONTH! i'll gain experience in the field and then we'll see where it goes from there. chemistry, however, was never my strongest subject to begin with. blegh. anywho, i am featured in a video, for those who are considering the program. i look very very ugly. here's the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QYsMJggHUA

hahhhh... *blush*

my birthday's this saturday and i have no clue what to do! a dinner with babe at _________ (he still hasn't decided yet). im down for anything.. i wanted to go to miyakes in palo alto like how ashley s. did, but my friends are all broke so exnay that place. =( i want a few things for my bday, but it seems like as the years go by, the list gets smaller, and more pricey. like, a new car! for example. or, a new apartment to call my own! or, a flatscreen tv! or, a camera! (well, that's not TOO pricey) or skydiving!

but there is one thing that i really want that's not pricey at all.. a turtle! yes, another turtle. aeolus & vishnu grew way too big.. here's a size comparison of Aeolus.

yup. crazy. for my next victim, i wanna keep him baby-sized. small turtles are just cuter, and easier to manage. i heard that the bigger the tank, the bigger the turtles get. hence Aeolus' picture above. they were quite healthy! haha. i'd love to get a map turtle with spikes.. *hint to anyone who's reading this*

other than those listed above, i haven't really learned much in terms of blog topics. i guess this time in my life is all evaluation and planning. i'm starting to get more conscious of my health, simply from evaluating other people's lives. some are getting fatter, some are fit with muscles now, and others are still eating out at fastfood joints. there are a lot of things to consider; stress, hormonal levels, and sleep to name a few. so i'm watching out for myself. better to start early, than later. i've even started using an eye cream for my eyes so i don't get under-eye circles or dark spots when i'm older! haha.. and iono about your friends, but it seems like babies are popping out everywhere! soon enough, my schedule will be filled with babyshowers and weddings o_o. fuuuuck.. in terms of babies, i'm definitely not ready for one yet. i have to tackle one goal at a time. but, from observing how children are getting raised, im getting a few ideas of how i wanna raise mine. &taking notes. what not to do, that's for sure. haha. i guess i did learn a few things after all?

wellps, i got a practical tomorrow and written exam next week so i guess i this is where i conclude. i'll report back when i have something to blog about.

continue on! =)