what can you do. I mean, I'm stuck. like for example, say you're taking a test and you're not even close to the end but your time is almost up. instead of reading the questions conscientiously, you scan the questions in a hasty manner, answering them without a second thought, only relying on the luck of an educated guess. you're forced to finish. it's only best to keep with the test coz if you fake a stomach ache (aka, "find an excuse") to get out you receive an F for Failure to Try. don't waste your time. there is a time limit; and knowing that influences your actions, unnaturally. timing... is what got you where you are now. perhaps your timing was off. but don't think too far ahead now. the test is still going; you gotta keep writing.
all in or nothing at all.
you down?
shit; I am.
1.28.2009
1.27.2009
character deficiency; a story
driving back to uc, i turn on the radio in the hollow and stupid assembled, disassembled, then reassembled dash kit... and after a couple switches of stations, i slowly started to get a feel for the songs. to those this may apply to, you probably remember me obnoxiously rehearsing the out-played lyrics of mainstream music when a favorite tune is on the stations of (and it goes in this numerical order) 89.3, 94.9, 99.7, 102.5, or 106.1 along with the incorrect facial expressions and jiggy movements that do not match the songs. with all this happening, you STILL must remember that the tires are still spinning, the roads still have signs that you must abide to, there are other automobilists about your lanes, LIGHTS, and patrols hidden in spots you would have never known that you MUST be aware of. how the heck do you handle a horrible singing girl in the passenger/driver seat to such blasting music?!?! how do you handle a heavy load of instantaneous things happening at once?
yeaaa... such weird nature. but yet, it is still nature, or natural to me. [laugh all you want haha].
and that was the first spark of a flashback.
i finally reach home and head for amandalene's house. *ahhh*, i thought. *i'm back in the areaaa*. while conversating with amanda, i came to notice we both started adding in english accents with our phrases. *whoa*, i thought. *haven't heard any accents from myself in awhile*.
second spark.
just conversating in general.. take a random topic, and add pile after pile of memories/experiences to the fire of the conversation. past few days i've been quiet as hell, alone to myself and not exactly conversating at all... but when i came back to uc, conversations started to flow out my head like no other..
third spark.
those were only a few characteristics that i haven't seen in awhile. what defines cherylness has either left the building, or it has matured. i'm leaning towards, "left the building", but i want it to come back. naturally. wheres the cheryl in cherylness?! what happened to your "horrible singing, 'juh a litt'o bit', yeah yeah yeah i remember that time!" girl go? so quiet, so reserved, so curious... bring me back. bring it out of me.
"i miss you" simply won't do; it ought to be an "i miss You"
i'm still Here
bring her back
yeaaa... such weird nature. but yet, it is still nature, or natural to me. [laugh all you want haha].
and that was the first spark of a flashback.
i finally reach home and head for amandalene's house. *ahhh*, i thought. *i'm back in the areaaa*. while conversating with amanda, i came to notice we both started adding in english accents with our phrases. *whoa*, i thought. *haven't heard any accents from myself in awhile*.
second spark.
just conversating in general.. take a random topic, and add pile after pile of memories/experiences to the fire of the conversation. past few days i've been quiet as hell, alone to myself and not exactly conversating at all... but when i came back to uc, conversations started to flow out my head like no other..
third spark.
those were only a few characteristics that i haven't seen in awhile. what defines cherylness has either left the building, or it has matured. i'm leaning towards, "left the building", but i want it to come back. naturally. wheres the cheryl in cherylness?! what happened to your "horrible singing, 'juh a litt'o bit', yeah yeah yeah i remember that time!" girl go? so quiet, so reserved, so curious... bring me back. bring it out of me.
"i miss you" simply won't do; it ought to be an "i miss You"
i'm still Here
bring her back
1.24.2009
"simply independent"
why thank you, tony tones. =)
i appreciate those readers who have known me even before this blog and have watched me grow as a person. you know, at first i was slightly somewhat offended whenever someone would say i dress "simple" or i'm a "simple" girl. i've always refused to be anything but ordinary. i took into deep consideration when somebody said, "you're boring".. and i've realized i'm overthinking all this wayy too much! simplicity is not a bad thing, really. you can't exactly pinpoint a style, and you can't exactly say that there isn't a style.. because truthfully, simplicity is already complex. it has its own edge, such as the color black. mysterious in all aspects. you really never know until you open the book, right? i may look simple, but that's only because you gotta get to know me first to see the more complexity of myself as a whole. take for example, you see a girl with some stylish-ass clothes struttin the sidewalks. you can kinda already tell who she is, without opening the book. whats the fun in that?
the other day mom was angry with me. she was saying how i "never listen; [i] always like to do my own thing". the way she approached me with that made it seem that was a stubborn trait to have. hey, it could be. but it could also be an "admirable attribute" -gabe. It shows control over your own life and making decisions for yourself. A little self centered but everyone has to be, sometimes.
to some, or shall I say a certain individual, I may seem Dependent. probably you are confused with the definition of "independent" vs "girlfriend". there is a very distinct difference between the two; one of which another person is involved, and with the other, there is not. That is what defines their obvious differences. With that, which one am I to you?
i appreciate those readers who have known me even before this blog and have watched me grow as a person. you know, at first i was slightly somewhat offended whenever someone would say i dress "simple" or i'm a "simple" girl. i've always refused to be anything but ordinary. i took into deep consideration when somebody said, "you're boring".. and i've realized i'm overthinking all this wayy too much! simplicity is not a bad thing, really. you can't exactly pinpoint a style, and you can't exactly say that there isn't a style.. because truthfully, simplicity is already complex. it has its own edge, such as the color black. mysterious in all aspects. you really never know until you open the book, right? i may look simple, but that's only because you gotta get to know me first to see the more complexity of myself as a whole. take for example, you see a girl with some stylish-ass clothes struttin the sidewalks. you can kinda already tell who she is, without opening the book. whats the fun in that?
the other day mom was angry with me. she was saying how i "never listen; [i] always like to do my own thing". the way she approached me with that made it seem that was a stubborn trait to have. hey, it could be. but it could also be an "admirable attribute" -gabe. It shows control over your own life and making decisions for yourself. A little self centered but everyone has to be, sometimes.
to some, or shall I say a certain individual, I may seem Dependent. probably you are confused with the definition of "independent" vs "girlfriend". there is a very distinct difference between the two; one of which another person is involved, and with the other, there is not. That is what defines their obvious differences. With that, which one am I to you?
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