independence day 09

bevmo; $25.
we knew traffic would be crazy.. so we took a ride on bart. smaaart

the pier was filllllllled with people just walkin around, lounging n whatnot. The crowd followed the sparks in the sky; us included. Henny, stoges, walkin around the pier, hotdogs wrapped with bacon and grilled onions, fireworks... what more can you ask for? That feel-good vibe; i felt comfortable. We chilled in the middle of the street on an island by 2 white girls.. they seemed cool so we offered them some of our henn. They took snapshots of this memory for us and i am forever thankful. Lost my fedora in the midst of buzzness. =\.

On the sidelines, we witnessed a homeless man getting his guitar hit by a rude pedestrian. He was accused of hitting on the pedestrian's gf, so the dude hit the homeless man's guitar and the homeless man smashed the remains (might as well) as he stormed off in anger. Who would seriously do that??! That's FUCKED up. I refuse to see a homeless man's prized posession get smashed by someone who was far more Better Off than he was. Fucked up. Got me heated for sec!

When the beautiful finale finished, back to bart and fremont-bound we went. =)

070509; bday planning.

"rach you should have a bbq at this park or something."

"all my friends are in la or vacation. plus this is so far"

"so what are you gonna do for your bday?"

"i dont knowwwww.."

To me, an arguement is like a rushed-communicator; whatever it was that you held inside has finally exploded out in the form of anger. This way, both parties can finally accomplish one of the Top Most Important Things In any Relationship: Understanding.

Sure, your heartbeat, bloodpressure, and anger must've increased by 1000x's, but atleast you're getting your point across. i guess.

be: it pains me to see a friend
be: not live to the potential we all know we saw.
itz: i know all this but for some reason it's just not a good enough motivator for me
itz: i dont wanna be here - ok. i dont wanna be like them - ok.
itz: and what
be: i guess you need to find whatever it is that you would die for
be: really, that is what passion is about
itz: a boyfriend -_- pfft
be: whatever it is you're pasionate about, you'd be willing to sacrifice yourself
be: for the better of other people

the question still remains. "What do you want to do in life?" ... *shrugs, kicks rocks*...

-sigh-. past few weeks i've been kawawa trynna figure this shit out. college deadlines by the end of july.. i've just been lagging coz of this cloud of confusion that's been following me throughout my days. so i look above for clarity and direction... hoping that sunday morning could get me closer to what i'm trying to reach

Sunday Morning; 071209

"objects appear closer than they appear"

Mirrors are reflections of the truth. If what you see is truth, then The Book is like a reflection. it all depends on your perception and perspective.

mark 4:35 they were on a boat and He was on it with them. their "perception" was Him and only Him, until the storm came.. by human nature, their perception switched to the storm.. totally missing the point that if He is with you, you aint got shit to worry about! storm or not, He is with you always. and so they focused on how the storm was affecting their boat.. in the meantime He was sitting there calmly observing. and they asked Him, "Don't you care if we drown?"

In times of hardship, we tend to look up and ask "Don't you care?". You already know, of course He does. so why didn't he stop you from making a big deal out of what really is nothing?

So He replied, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Come to think about it, when the storm hit, I guess my focus was on myself. Worried that if i dont get this shit figured out, i'm screwed! Little did i see, He was with me all along. He was with me in the boatride, before the storm, during the storm, and after. He didn't stop it from happening and he won't stop every storm either.. nor will he save me from the whole experience every time.

Fear, loss, confusion.. etc.. they can change your perception on life. Those things make us lose our perception of our whole purpose being here. We are not here to get shitted on or fucked over by life's issues. He's teaching you to overcome .. to be a better person.

My faith has just increased 1. =)





-4:22am sorry gotta cut this short i got work at 9:30sunnyvale fuuuuuuck! i'll add more to this later, gnites.