thanksday - woke up to a bajillion of texts and a few which i did not even recognize. thanks tho, its the thought that counts. =T i went to garlic city (gilroy) to visit daddy's side of the fam for lunch. we pretty much just chilled. i took out this cutie patootie for a walk at the park:when the sunlight faded to blue, my uncle brought over his newest-latest-cool-gadget-that-you-don't-have-here-take-my-picture
watched transformers, fantastic4 the silver surfer one, then played halo3. [hardcore gamer]. left at 7 to eat dinner at mom's. she didn't even bother calling us to tell us to come home or that the food was ready. so it was half-eaten when we got there. -_-. me n rach were turned off. actually, rach lost her appetite. doesn't deserve a picture. hmmph.

didn't wake up early for blackfriday this year. but.. i still tried to get out. we ended up in another argument. just as i was backing out of the driveway, bootsy banana failed me. =\. i pushed it back on the driveway and pulled the ebrake.

got picked up. went to sj. thanks for the shirts.

saturday dad yelled at me. "you gotta take care of the car because it takes care of you" lol. Add this, check that, start it, spray this, cap that, close it, try it. frankenstein is aliiiiiive! WRONG. we brought it over to an auto repair shop and there was some serious damage that only a mechanic would see. [right]. the car is effin 20. years. old. daddy, i think it's time. let's go shopping ^_^

sunday rachel faked a headache and we ended up not going to church. grr.

mom's really been on my ass lately. in fact, this happens to me at least once annually. i build so much anger towards her to the point where jobs & apartments look very tempting. my last resort would be daddy's in santa clara.. & mission college. but.. would that be considered as Running away from my problems?

other side of my head says: what are you THINKing. just stick with it. fuck it! just let it go. show them what you got so you can see their moded faces in the end.

strive.
keep going.
push. i'll do my thing and put that aside for now. i have other things to worry about. bethankful2 definitely isn't one of them.

talked with bernie couple hours ago. double dates have long gone. hah, we both dont have titles, but the feeling inside.. it wants more, it's asking for more, it's not getting more, and yet it keeps hoping for more. >_<


'08 will be an interesting year. going to look at schools soon.
i'm moving forward, and you're.. what ARE you doing anyways??

=)

gotta pick up rachel. i'm walking there. lol. catch ya laters. ;)

and her wrath goes on..

i dont understand why she can't give me a straight reason. theres no school. nothing to look forward to. and i'm perfectly fine. so why can't i stay out late? why can't i chill w/ my friends like everyone else? why can't i come home late like they can? why does my mom have to be the alien of all mothers? i said, GIVE ME A REASON. she says I DONT NEED TO GIVE ONE. grrrrao;sieura;olskd;z,xmdf;oaier;lkj WHY! sure i live in your house, but your rules have no point. NO SCHOOL. comprende? it's not like i'm the type of child who comes home pregnant/drunk/high or whatever else you're scared of. she already knows that i'm not that type of person. so WHY. YOU. TRIPPIN. you know, if i had good grades, i could easily back myself up in this situation. BUT NO. i don't have it! i have nothing. what-fuckin-ever. sorry for my lack of concentration this semester. MYY BADDD. but seriously what does she want me to do at home anyways? all she needs is a TAXICAB DRIVER for PRINCESS RACHEL. i dont understand WHY WHY WHY

one night, i asked for the bajillionth time, "why does she have to be so different" and the reply was, "well you're different yourself."

all i wanna do is chill w/ my friends like any other normal college kid. adult. whatever. if i went to that UC or state college, i betchamillionbucks i'd be out right now. why can't i just.. go out.. then find out later that i'm sick of it? i'd rather do that then not experience it at all. let me live and learnnn fuckin shit

i admire other college people for being college people. i feel so much like an alien. actually, no. i feel very much like my favorite disney character. how fuckn ironic. HA as beowulf and king leonidas would say
GYARGGHHH

the reign of mother

sorry about friday you guys. my original plan was to chill w/ the girls at cassandra's house to talk & catch up with our lives. instead, mother took the role of hitler.

firsta all, it was my stepgrandmother mamang 's birthday. mother told me hella last minute. actually, an hour before the celebration started. so i called cassandra while my phone was dying, "sorry i'm stuck w/ the fam for a bit. i'll call you after". riiiiight. fyi and for future reference, when i say "the fam" that usually means FILIPINO TIME. i'm sure you all know what that is.. SUPER LAG!

we eat at this thai restaurant by decoto. turns out that the only people who came were us; me, rachel, mother, tito roy, stepbrother john and his soon-to-be-wife kaori. that's it. where were the other sons? my other stepbrothers? my stepcousins? aunties and uncles and whatnot? out of all people WHY did I have to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -sigh-. no offense to mamang. sorry. i guess i just really wanted to be with my friends that day. we planned it out before hand, then mom went ahead and ruined it. again.

on a positive note, the food was good. *dimple* =T

that's mamang w/ the Combo Appetizer. yummy.nice cup.oh yeah. mom ended up getting her official thai tea. no lipton tag needed. just look at that stressed face and double chin (which i inherited). puahahahathis is the official thai version of fried banana w/ coconut icecream. eets so simpo my momma can mekkit! [see blog w/ fried banana]

mother promised me that i would be able to hang out with my friends later that night. cheaa riiiiight. the dinner started at around 545, ended at around 745? [overapproximation due to Super Lag]. there was a mass going on at st. anne's [tito roy's church] so all of us drove over there to listen to the message. there i was, folding my arms and crossing my legs, waiting for mom's promise to come true. alla sudden tito roy snaps at me and says, "you live at your mom's house. you have to listen to her. if you dont like her rules, then you can live with your dad. it's getting annoying." WOWWWWW. how disrespectful of me.

anyways, mass didn't have a common topic. it ended at 1005 and i didn't get to escape until 11. i got a missed call from kessy.. turns out she already talked all the things she needed to say.. suggested that perhaps we can chill again some other day.. --___--

Why oh why Super Lag. Whyyyyy

angered & ready to punch a dickhole, i step on the gas. the car accelerates ever-so-slowly.. laugh. out. loud.

Tapioca it is.
saTURDay.
i woke up to the sunlight. the best way to wake up. but bliss can only last for so long...... *knock knock*. grandma asks me to help her set up the christmas tree. IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET. ... and i made plans. =(

WHY!!!!!

she hurries me to eat breakfast and help out w/ the fake-plastic-christmas-symbolizing-house-decor-that-doesn't-even-need-to-be-set-up-yet. i rushed over to Nayong Filipino [a filipino restaurant by uh well i associate it w/ gela/lyzette's old house] to pick up some food for mommy. kristina still works there! and her sister too. gettin some cashflow & still attending ohlone, while im still attending chabot. anyways, i went home, took a shower, then went to newpark. i guess. we were on a mission to find a stafford short sleeve 1pocket white shirt because the agency requires it. they're specific on brand too! well newpark was out - naturally. newpark hardly has anything. so we tried eastridge since we were heading in that direction. and whattayaknow. eastridge had it. i remember one time awhile back i was looking for the all white dunks in my size. newpark didn't have it, but when i went to eastridge, the shoe salesperson walked to the back as if it wasn't a hassle. AS IF - they had my size all along. AS IF - people on that side had bigger sizes? maybe newpark is for small people? and all the small people took my size! whart the fark! ok the paragraph is getting too long.

we ate pho on King. Pho, with a few limeslices, basil, and a thai ice tea w/ no pearls. *heaven*. ^_^ after eating/sipping that shit, we walked it off at santana row. what a lovely place to go.the only store that i can actually buy something at* santana row is urban. so i was walkin around, so far with one thing in my hand. it was as if my eyes shopped faster than i could pick! then i was rudely interrupted by impatience - and i came out with nothing. again. don't ever let your feelings surge so high, then drop so low.. because they will.. i repeat.. THEY WILL.. drop very low. apologies in this case, do not work. maybe a milk tea.. [i'll get back to that later]

we BOTH came out with nothing. so why not watch beowulf? YEAH! didn't get to see it in imax because of the time. century was our closest resort. and hey! we ran into james melody joel and i saw shareezy too. anywho - the graphics were pretty detailed and all i could imagine was the future of movie making. if actors died, they could still be alive. through graphic arts! i could still be alive, through graphic arts! i think it was star wars that gave me that idea awhile back; when i die, i will make a hologram of myself to the one i love. haha. okay my mind is running off on tangents.. anywaysss beowulf just reminds me of 300 because beowulf's character was very much like King Leonidas. makes me wanna go *GYARGHH* afterwards. hahaha

already on 880, we decided to go to Top Cafe. beef chowfun and a milktea. that's right - a milktea. in a huge to-go cup as a mattafact. i couldn't stop smiling and i couldn't take my hands off it. I LOVE MILKTEA

sunday woke up at 9:20 called cassandra vince kessy aiza. picked up vince, met up cassandra & aiza at decoto.. kessy couldn't make it. actually, kessy's phone was off. we hopped in the van & drove off to san jose. they all loved the vibe right when they walked in. we all heard what we needed to hear. =). these are my notes:i'm glad to know i've made SOME sort of difference in someone's life. but i have to give credit to cassandra too because together we both brought our friends to church. ^_^. soon, everyone will know what we're talkin about. ;) if not, you're missin out.

after, we ate pho. i know right, pho again?? well for me - not this time. i ordered a rice plate. a good one. and a thai ice tea of course. then the sudden idea of Tennis dawned upon us. YEAH! i called michelle nelmida and asked if i could pick up the tennis rackets & tennis balls. cassandra needed to change shoes and so did i and so did aiza.. so we went to my heeze to change. cabello was full damnit so we went to aiza's heeze. so SHE got to change too! yee. all set. so basically we played tennis in san leandro [?] where the sun wasn't makin our eyes chinky and the weather was just right. it was perfect!

we attempted to call kessy so she could hang. aiza had to go tho. boo. so we picked up kessy. look how fast it got dark.so now it was the Trio and vince. vince was kind enough to treat the Trio out to dinner.. so we headed to this really pretty place called Sushi House. it was super busy! and the portions are damn-big! haha. we had this little weirdness thing going on tho. iono. something like the Trio were the Angels and vince was Charlie. haha. so at the end we said, "Thank you Charlie" [for the dinner]. haha. goodtimes, goodtimes.

the end of the night was satisfying. but not satisfying enough. i was angered by someone who thinks i'm a taxicab driver. but honestly, since they ARE my bestfriends, i am not bothered by it one bit. it may bother you, but i know my friends will be there when they eventually get their cars. it's not like i see them everyday. ahemm. bestfriends are always exceptions. happiness included. don't block it. please.

overall, i had a great time this weekend. we should do this again. i need money tho. grr.

#106

it`s not up to me anymore

if you want me in your life

you`ll find a way to put me there.

METACOGNITION

i crinkle my nose with a smirk on my face.



pisces.
Clues come today -- it won't take too much intellectual energy to connect the dots.



favorite other brand: Obey.


when history repeats itself
it's soooo muchhhh easierrrrr
to start brand new




this isn't going away.
what an interesting..
..frielationdship
haha

a compilation.

friday sigh weird totaled cassandra tapioca newark kessy evie blog? gessner because you haven't had enough curled hair religious talk reincarnation? chicken mushrooms dont feel left out mediator why didn't you add more? god believe love talking about this thank you bestfriend considerate suspicious i dont believe you sighhh

saturday mom LISTEN TO ME don't go with him god ignore no fuck it sf rain thewharf fresh fish hobos homos haight xgeneration blissful agony bonnie&clydeshit came back with nothing

sunday new topic michael pitts theology philosophy mythology which do you believe should we get involved? make a difference i'm not here for motivation - i'm here to be challenged push my buttons make me cry just give it to me straight i'll be fine other churches biased challenge me yell angry calculus dad automall cars toyota 25-35 nissan honda too much not worth it why did you -_- need sleep tapioca automall just browsing grounded for a year i'm 19 no dinner go home

monday cassandra chill workout eat healthy rachel help homework scream frustrated hurry 3oclock tutoring mr.cameron hassina work-out music study n l ml ms electrons teach thank you study technique eat mom vince LOL reincarnation kessy missing! too much at once bullied her how else? considered oakland david why stop Friendship we're your friends messed up rude disrespect aiza worried her mom calls rachel quickly sigh

tuesday construction classes next year schedule ameliorate econ interesting class aeolus vishnu temporarysmiles learn stick rachel study shower mcdonalds vrrooom awkward sit listen awkward not friends quiz K kessy w/ aiza safe vince gessner cassandra thanks for letting us know pop brightlights sj miss cafe naked computer screen tits ass shadow $1 game pretty girl hot tea milk tea coffee dim long smoke vietkaraoke randy joon viet chris tip her quickly milpitas cars top cafe beefchowfun 4:30 snoring embarrassing try ohlone no thanks

wednesday today letter from mom 12:05 rachel modified days tutoring @ 4 grandma @ 7 my day planned out by mom vince try i understand for now Friendship talk to her one-on-one sorry no time for haircut dad blahblahblah stop doing this that LISTEN TO ME cheryl please ---____--- bye! grandma made menudo kessy calls yeah hypocrites More Mature who your true friends are i can talk to you tapioca decoto johnny automall mom mad WHY CHERYL! ride? autozone, kragen irvington district dark obvious


btw, i made a name for my car.
BOOTSY BANANA


webbie - independent =)

real.

can't sleep. nothing can keep me sane. not even a milktea. not even your hug.

i'm not going to get into details, and i'm not going to tell the whole world. but, i am going to say this..

it's pitch black. i want to play the movie of my life. i have a flashlight pointing straight at the vcr, narrowed to the play button.







tell me why i just pressed rewind?

goodmorning.

9:38am.
mom comes through the door.. hands me a key. "here, attach this to your keys. don't lose this. you're picking up your sister afterschool right?" here i am, giving her THE FACE -_- "yea yeaaa." "..and don't forget she has tutoring at 4:30 for ms. sandra at automall so leave the house by 4 and take fremont blvd back home." "mhmmmm. bye." "love you. i gotta go."

i face the floor.

in the distance, "..AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM!"

10:48am.
took a little snooze, then realized i had to stand up and Do something with my day. I'm kinda glad that i've told everyone the truth - kinda not because now mom knows that i'm available on mondays and wednesdays. you can call me Misses Errands. tee hee

Rachella had a doctor's appointment at the psychiatrist's office yesterday at the Palo Alto Medical Center in fremont. Since i AM Misses Errands, and an older sister at that, i had to bring her to her appointment at 4:30pm. Mom said it only took 30 minutes, but it took more like an hour. I had chemistry class at 5:45pm. You do the math.

I was rushing on 880 N.. talkin to mom on the phone.. rachellini in the back. mom told me to exit off decoto, but i looked ahead and the traffic looked like it was clearing up a bit. soooo, i stepped on it. =\. the car in front of me came closer than i thought, and that's when it hit me.

literally.

roach was so scared that she took off her seatbelt and climbed in the back to put her seatbelt on again. "ateh! why did you do that???"

the front hood is bent, there is a hole in my bumper from the exhaust of the other car, and the bumper is dragging on the floor. oh i wish i had my camera at the time! anyways, i wasn't trippin out as much as my mom was. you should've seen my face tho.

later that night, daddy called. he dropped this off in front of my house and slipped the key under the doormat. this is the same car i was so embarrassed to be in and forever-promised to the world that i will never be seen in ever again!! ahh.. but karma always finds its way back.
ughhhh...

11:27am.
"I heard about your car cheryl. I figured your dad left the key under the mat. Now you're stuck with the yellow car!! Haha!" grandma smiled. "HAHA hah.. heh! -sarcasm- This'll have to do for now. It's only 2 weeks and i get my car back. is there any food downstairs?" "Yeah there's chicken sopas. Can you give rachel her lunch at quarter to 12? I have work today." "Yeaaa sure." "..and don't forget to pick her up today afterschool!" "mhmmm."
I drove the yellow bus to rachel's school w/ her chicken sopas, chicken nuggets, and capri-sun. Why am i catering to her. Am i a good sister or what!

12pm.
cassandra calls. the nissan tends to turn off completely if i don't put enough gas. -aghh- this sucksss asssss. so embarrassing.

cassandra was so eager to drive, she asked if she could drive us to my house. it really wasn't a problem, so i let her. i'm pretty shocked at how good of a driver she is because when i was starting off, i was terrible at breaking. .. did i just say that?

2pm.
rachel renee quickly scurried across the grass and hopped in the Yellow Bus. "quick! duck! this is so embarassing!!"

3pm.
just chilled with cassandra.. crackin new jokes til we can't breathe. my tummy hurt so much from laughing that i almost grew a 6pack. thanks; i needed that. nowadays it takes a lot for me to laugh.

4:46pm.

we were running a little late, but rachel got to her tutor around 5ish. every wednesday after dropping off rachel, i'm always stuck. there are so many places you can go to in fremont if you have 58minutes to spare.

we decided to check out this ice cream place.

this aint your average coldstone's ya beezy.

dark chocolate and spumoni. gelato is so smooooooooth =).

8:20pm.

grandmother comes home from work. i leave to drop off cassandra and eat at macaroni grill. i dared myself to try something other than my usual chicken ravioli.... it's called..uh.. carmela's chicken rigatoni. (forgot my camera again). no doubt it was good. but i still like my ravioli.

10:27pm.

full and tired. i need to clear my complicated mind. if i am the least bit offended or aggravated i will snap at you. oh geez. why do i feel this way??!?! when will it go away?

stoppppp

11:38pm.

sleepin early tonight. that seems to be the best temporary mind-relief for the moment. goodnight.

shit happens!

happy birthday aiza

didn't learn much this weekend. nothing new. nothing less. a whole bunch of Blah-blah. meh. i did, however, spent some time with my bestfriend Cassandra.

my first time singing in front of her, and my first time singing in front of people. we sang for 3 hours. straight! i danced a little too. aiza's home felt very, homey. so i just acted myself. haha. thanks for your hospitality tho.

i loved it when we sang to tiki tiki slim shady lol

her nephew is a cutie. meet jayden.

check out that jacket!

on my way home i saw allen? how random.

didn't go to church on sunday. =(. i still hope to know what e, r, and y is. i woke up and went to a house at Avalon for some church cell-meeting instead. something like that. the house is pretty darn big, but i'm disappointed in the size of the kitchen. hi mombut check out the massive backyard.. *ahh, green grass and blue skies*and the 15-car driveway..

dizzamn. we stayed there from like.. 11-5. so i just.. walked around the block. i found a rabbit. i wild rabbit. an actual wild rabbit. it's massive!!!!!! the size of a CAT! i got kinda scared coz at first i thought it was fake. but the closer i got.. the more real it looked. o_o



rachel got a haircut and she's proud to look like me. ew. get. away.loooooser =P