where to, cheryl?

this weekend i looked back at things.. and i wondered.. What happened?? Why did, what was the cause of, but, etc.. Thinking of those things, therefore, lead to confusion frustration and/or anger. Why is it that i tend to look at the cons rather than the pros? Sure, it is a girl's nature to think that way. You hear girls always saying "are you calling me FAT?" or "i'm ugly" or "the lady at the salon messed up my hair!" haha. Maybe there isn't enough "pros" to begin with. even just the thought of cons is already a con itself. hence the word, Pessimist. but if there aren't enough "pros" to begin with, why bother questioning it? why go backwards, when you can move forward?

argh. i'm metacognition-ing again.

at the moment, my mind and heart are stuck in a ditch. neither happy, nor sad. not in need of anything, nor wanting anything. monotone. the face -_-. like a rock. just... blah (this all sounds so familiar)

these highs-to-lows-to-highers-to-lowers are really pissing me off.

k; blogged it. one thing off my mind. for the moment.

daddy was talking about paris hilton the other day. he said, "look at paris hilton. she's a problem child to her dad. her dad is the owner of these huge buildings all over the world and just around the corner. one day she'll inherit all of it! but she'd rather go out partying or fool around carelessly. (laughs) look what happened to her. she ended up in jail. after she got out, she felt like she was the best y`kno i can do anything. now she helps out her dad with his business. but all that happened AFTER she went to jail, cheryl. just go to school, hurry up and get your degree, and help me with my real estate business. stop fooling around don't go out til 3 in the morning. just school, work, study, go straight home, and then repeat!"

uhh.. thanks dad. i'm gonna try living with him for the meanwhile until next semester starts. de anza is looking tempting tho, plus their transfer admission agreement with san diego...

k; blogged that one..

learned in church "Some people need to go into 'season'. Get strong, and then make your come back."

alright..... toodles