i feel like

everything i say does not have sufficient evidence to back itself up. eh. more or less. thoughts are big, actions are small. a little help would be nice, but everybody knows that in the end - it's really up to Me to make the decision whether to put it into action or to go with my own perception of things.

perception can alter a lot of things, actually. it can take one good situation and turn it bad. it all depends on how you see it. so how do i see it? i see it as.. "in pen". by that i mean, Not in pencil. (well duh. clearly a pen is not a pencil.) but i meant like, this is For Sure now. pencil leaves room for mistakes.. therefore.. adding in an extra object: the eraser. curer of all mistakes. aha, but why would you want to make mistakes and erase with another object? why not just.. use one pen and know that there IS no room for mistakes. not this time around.

yep. you heard me right. One.

of course the previous was a test for me. now i'm in the big league. [lol, somebody tell me where i got that from] you can't simply say, hey you're my first and only. if so, it is very rare. firsts goes to seconds, each step with lessons learned. each experience with lessons learned. a crazy hell-ride of gained knowledge.

i think to myself, why not cheryl? why not.
perhaps spoiled? after daily consumption, yes. you can say that.
sick of it? here and there. but if i could give you my first instinct answer: No. i miss it, actually.
so then... wtf?

*scratches head*

why do i function this way? how can i function without it? and, is it possible? is it realistically possible? or will this continue right where it left off...

sorry this must be one of the most confusing-est blog i've ever really wrote. typed. whatever. it's 4:28am &i'm tiiiiired. too caught up in my own brain to realize what's really going on in front of me. wait what did i just say? this shit didn't get anywhere. =(


"halp"