give it a few minutes, and a simple "hey! how are you?" turns into an "ugh cheryl!!" *shakes head, head down*
i've been irritated. turned down. beat up with pessimistic opinions. judged..
and i've proven them Right.
yep.. go ahead.. roll your eyes.. assume.
part of that is due to the excess 16 year old in me. rebellious, angry, "fine!" type of attitude. well yeah, i mean. if something makes me mad, i get even. a horrible mindset, but it may come out of me every once in awhile. =T
part of that is also due to abuse. nooo, not physical. er well.. mom might pull my ear or slap my head a few times, but that's about it. but i meant abuse as in, over abuse of repetition. saying the same thing over and over again, all this nagging.. blah blah blah... it's annoying! listing your expectations for me every night before i go to sleep. gee, like i wasn't aware of your expectations. -_- at first, it made me feel antsy/nervous.. like "okay, i needa rush and get this shit done coz mom said so, okay Go. you're lagging. just do it." but repetition of these constant reminders of what's expected actually Lowers my motivation to Prove You Wrong, therefore less motivation = less focus = one ear & out the other.
your reverse psychology is actually doing the opposite. of all people you'd think family would believe in you. hff
part focus; which i have none of. no motivation, no yearn for the goal. what is it then? oblivious? selfish? passive? naive? lazy? cynical, even? perhaps.
part Care...
sike. i've been so sluggish lately that i keep proving them right By The Second!
=( down time. =( =( =(
and like a volcano that has built everything up on it's insides, there will be a time when it can't hold it in any longer...
but not at this very second. >=)
hah!
whycome?
because, i am currently secluding myself, making some very vast changes to my schedule in another attempt to prove them........
wrong.
muahahaha
add a tally mark to yet another "attempt". let's see how far..
when are you going to prove them wrong?
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